When we set out to blend our families, we knew that it would be challenging simply because of the number of individuals involved. Let’s face it when you have so many personalities, attitudes and viewpoints, things can become a bit complicated. It is definitely more to blending families than just bringing two families together. An outsider once made the very sarcastic statement regarding an incident that took place between the co-parenting adults within our family. “Blended and Loving It? Oh, their blender must be broke.”
First and Foremost, who has not been extremely excited to jump into a tasty smoothie or shake just to get an enormous piece of ice, fruit or lemon seed that did not blend properly? I am sure this is a normal occurrence for most of us . When this happens, you don’t think Oh my blender must be broken, you stir your smoothie and keep sipping.
Our families are no different, every now and again we will come across a rough patch when it comes to blending our families. During those rough and difficult times, you must stay the course and remain focused on what brought your family together. Love, the love for your spouse and the love for all children involved. Blending a family is a difficult task that requires diligence and determination from the onset of your journey. You have to be intentional about everything that you do in your blended family. It’s almost like you are being watched and judged for every move you make and everything you say or do not say. With that being said we must think before we speak, and process how our words and actions will affect the child or children involved, because ultimately that is who matters.
Difficult times will come and go, there will be highs and lows, but you must continue working hard to blend and mend your family. We learned early on to put GOD first and tackle every obstacle together as one. When you work together it lightens the load and gives you the additional support needed to make it through the rough patch. It is important to focus on the positive and not allow the negative and outside drama to consume you. It is so easy to get caught up in the mess and chaos going on outside your household. We have a rule in our home that we will not and do not focus on the outside noise. We consider outsiders anyone or anything that is not a part of our immediate family. Our focus is and always have been our marriage, our children and our home. Focusing on the things we can control has given us so much peace throughout our 15 years of marriage. Those things that we cannot control we pray about and allow God to handle.
Our home is our safe haven, it is the place for our families to be at peace. Instead of focusing on the past and the negativity, use your family time to create new memories while strengthening and building relationships. When you are intentional about loving one another and loving your bonus children the relationship built will last a lifetime and will withstand the test of time. Keep fighting for your family, working hard and searching for ways that work for your family. There is no easy button, you must put in work. Do not allow outsiders to determine what your blended family should look like. Everyone blends differently, so what, your family doesn’t resemble the next person’s blended family. Do what is best for YOUR family.
~Blended & Loving It