Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
As children, we both were subjected to challenges and obstacles of being in a blended family at an early age. Coming from my own blended family I knew the importance of everyone feeling like they belonged. I also knew and know what it felt like to have stepparents. No kid grows up wanting stepparents, at some point and time each child has wished that their divorce parents were together in the same household. Both of my parents remarried later in my teen years and that’s when our new normal began. When different people are around there are different rules and different personalities. I learned early on to listen to what is said and what is NOT said. I learned through my own experience that it would be some things that would be out of my control. My parents did what was best for me at ALL times regardless of how they felt about one another. My parents also made sure to keep the adult business between the adults. There were no arguments in front of me, around me or negative discussions about the other parent in my presence. Which is why I was shocked when they divorced. I did not learn why my parents split up until I was an adult going through my own relationship issues with my first child. I took this mindset into my own relationships and blended family. It is important to protect the minds of your children. Think about the way the drama, and anxiety has your adult body feeling and now put all of that stress on a kid, that really doesn’t know how to express themselves and can’t express themselves in the same ways that you can. IT’S TOO MUCH!! When we decided to unify in marriage, we knew we wanted a family bond that did not feel like two separate families. Well that is easier said than done. Blending a family is an excursion you must decide from the beginning if you are willing to endure until the end. There will be highs and lows that make you want to throw in the towel. We learned early own to put GOD first and tackle every obstacle together as one. HOW… While dating we purchased a marriage devotional and we read the devotional daily and prayed together. When we got engaged we started early praying as a family. Every Sunday morning before church We gather in the living room (center of our home) and hold hands in a large circle. If it was not our weekend with the children, we still gather and pray for them in their absence. At the end of the prayer we give one BIG group hug. Prayer and Christ being the head of our life set the tone for our family early on. Christ is the head and my husband lead us through Christ. We committed to this family when WE decided to join together in marriage. I came into this knowing this was a huge transition for our children and vowed to continue to show intentional and unconditional love regardless of how hard it got and let me tell you IT GOT HARD at times. I allowed Christ to lay the foundation early on that way when those outside influences and sometimes inside influences came around, we would not fall. We may bend at times, but we never break. Individual prayer, prayer as a family, and a lot of talks with my true girlfriends is what keeps me sane and grounded. They are all OURS!! We didn’t start together but we will finish together.
~Blended & Loving it